Fantasy Life

Most of the time, I read mystery novels for relaxation, but occasionally I read fantasy novels. The name is apt. I’m usually looking for fantasy when reading those novels. One of my favorite scenes is when a main character comes to the marketplace. There is usually excitement in the air as the hero encounters the varied characters and the wonders for sale there. Or perhaps there is danger in the air as our hero is pursued through the labyrinth maze of shops. It reminds me of the feeling I have going to a café or a bookstore or a farmers market. Not the danger, but the excitement. The crowds are gathered. There are wondrous creations on offer. There are all sorts of people to watch. It’s the perfect escape from one’s life.

I have a friend who has a different relationship to shopping. Her shopping adventures come from a genuine desire to obtain items for some purpose. When she comes home from shopping, she immediately unwraps her treasures, puts them in the appropriate place, and basks in the satisfaction of a need well met. If she’s bought food, she immediately starts cooking. If she bought shelving, she immediately fetches the hardware and installs her shelves. I, on the other hand, dump my packages on the kitchen table, then wander away to check the telephone answering machine, my email, facebook.

The trip to the marketplace is what holds appeal for me. I buy fantasies of what my purchases represent. I buy books because I would like to think of myself as a person knowledgeable about their subjects. I buy household goods to imagine myself in a palace or a county cottage. I buy clothes for an event I’d like to attend someday.

In the “Your Money or Your life” program, there is a step where you ask yourself if your purchases brought you satisfaction commensurate with the amount of life energy you spent acquiring them. This encompasses not only the morning you may have spent at the mall shopping, but also the hours of working and commuting time you spent earning the money to buy that thing. Is it worth it to you?

I find excitement, distraction, and a sense of community in various marketplaces. My challenge is to separate the search for these things from spending money.