One thing I’ve learned about my dysfunctional relationship with money is that I avoid being aware of where I stand financially. I enable myself by refusing to look at my reality. I’m like a little kid who thinks she can change what she doesn’t like by pretending things are the way she wants them to be.
The FI program I want to follow (FI standing for variously Financial Independence, Financial Integrity, Financial Intelligence) requires paying attention. It’s a sort of meditation on money and my relationship with it. One of the steps of this program is to record every cent that goes in or out of your life. I was horrified when I first heard this. I’m still horrified, although I grudgingly see that it will be useful. I’ve actually done it for weeks at a time, but not recently. I haven’t even balanced my checkbook in close to a year.
So that is the next task that I’m committing to in the interest of financial recovery. It’s now Sunday, February 27, 2011. I commit to balancing my checkbook with the last years worth of statements and I will do this within a week. Meanwhile, I thought I’d share a few vital statistics in my financial life. Hopefully, we’ll all be able to see how they change for the better.
As of 2/27/11 here are my bank balances:
Savings (balance required for my credit union accounts) - $25.28
Checking account - $880.78
Money Market Account (really just a savings account) – $3,407.72
Paypal account for Etsy business - $7.59
Business checking account - $8.91
I make $11.50 per hour as a Nurse’s Aide and I’m scheduled to work 36 hours per week. Earlier in the winter I had a part-time job on the weekends. I will undoubtedly have to do that again, because I spend more than I make in my regular job. I also have a little business making & selling quilted items. (http://byathread2.etsy.com) Another place where I spend more than I take in.
I think that about does it for vital statistics. Onward!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Late Blooming
I am not a naturally thrifty person. I love spending money the way an alcoholic loves a drink. The idea of financial comfort I developed growing up was to be able to spend money without thinking about it. Through much painful personal experience, I’ve proved to myself that there is no amount of money that can hold up to that definition of financial comfort. I have looked for other approaches to money.
In the 1980’s I discovered an organization called the New Roadmap Foundation. At the time, they sold a course on tape about becoming financially independent. Since then, they’ve published a book , “Your Money or Your Life”, about their views on money. Desperate to escape my spendthrift ways, I sent in my $60 and got the course on tape. It was a revelation. They talked about looking at how much time and “life energy” you traded for money and seeing if you spent that money in ways that brought satisfaction to you. The course describes 9 steps to take to become financially independent and I could see how it could work. For me. I just had to apply the principles I learned in the course.
There was the rub. I’m a big dreamer and I can envision a lot of very practical dreams, but I’m not good at following through on them. I have made progress on this dream of becoming financially independent. I’ll never forget the terror I felt that first time I cut up my credit cards. I burned candles and had a little ceremony to give myself strength. Now I have no credit cards and life is better without them.
I’m not, however, satisfied with my financial progress. At the ripe old age of 53, I’ve stopped looking at life as a wide open vista and started seeing it in terms of “the time I have left.” One of my dearest dreams is to finally get to the point where my relationship with money is sane and comfortable. To that end, I’ve decided to start this blog – to share my money adventures and to keep myself accountable. I invite you to join me on this journey. Perhaps you will find something of interest for your financial journey.
In the 1980’s I discovered an organization called the New Roadmap Foundation. At the time, they sold a course on tape about becoming financially independent. Since then, they’ve published a book , “Your Money or Your Life”, about their views on money. Desperate to escape my spendthrift ways, I sent in my $60 and got the course on tape. It was a revelation. They talked about looking at how much time and “life energy” you traded for money and seeing if you spent that money in ways that brought satisfaction to you. The course describes 9 steps to take to become financially independent and I could see how it could work. For me. I just had to apply the principles I learned in the course.
There was the rub. I’m a big dreamer and I can envision a lot of very practical dreams, but I’m not good at following through on them. I have made progress on this dream of becoming financially independent. I’ll never forget the terror I felt that first time I cut up my credit cards. I burned candles and had a little ceremony to give myself strength. Now I have no credit cards and life is better without them.
I’m not, however, satisfied with my financial progress. At the ripe old age of 53, I’ve stopped looking at life as a wide open vista and started seeing it in terms of “the time I have left.” One of my dearest dreams is to finally get to the point where my relationship with money is sane and comfortable. To that end, I’ve decided to start this blog – to share my money adventures and to keep myself accountable. I invite you to join me on this journey. Perhaps you will find something of interest for your financial journey.
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